


WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE?

by Anonymous



Category: Antler Guy (Sculpture/Tumblr post)
Genre: Awkward Neighbors, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8751775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Antler Guy just wants to be loved.





	

"Is Neighbor Steve coming to the ritual sacrifice?" asked his Hell-Wife as Antler Guy came into their kitchen.

Antler Guy's shoulders slumped. "I do not believe Neighbor Steve and his pack will be joining our sacrifice of the unclean flesh-meats. Once again he used his weapon against me." He showed his Hell-Wife the injury. She clucked unhappily and healed it with a flash of sickly green light.

"Neighbor Steve's aim is improving, my unholy love. Have you considered instead inviting him to the ritual orgy following the sacrifice? Perhaps if he understands your desire to possess his manflesh, he will be happier to share the two-foot border between our domiciles with shrubberies instead of barbed wire."

Antler guy shrugged again, despondent. "Neighbor Steve does shout copulation epithets at me frequently, but I do not believe he wishes me to possess his manflesh."

"You could give him dead floral groupings." Her expression suggested Antler Guy could also give her dead floral groupings. Antler Guy did not see the point of dead floral groupings.

"I gave those to Neighbor Steve's wife last week. She screamed at me and attempted to behead me."

"Perhaps we should rain our putrescent brimstone upon the housing association and their infernal fees? Neighbor Steve and his pack may wish to celebrate with us then." His Hell-Wife grinned widely, showing all her pointed teeth. Antler Guy reluctantly returned her smile.

"Perhaps."


End file.
